Along with the times, the choice to be childfree or not to have children is now mostly done by married couples. A neurologist explains which makes you happier, having children or not.
For generations, having children was seen as a necessity, even an obligation. Having children of your own is part of being an adult. However, in recent years, this view is no longer as dominant as it once was, as more and more people choose not to have children.
On the other hand, most people still want to have children. Cultural factors often make women humiliated and cornered when choosing not to become mothers.
"The choice to have children or be childfree is certainly much more complex than it seems. Individual factors will play a large role in a person's decision and how it will go well or not," says neuroscientist Dean Burnett and author of The Idiot Brain and The Happy Brain, quoted from Science Focus, Tuesday (21/8/2021).
However, Dean explains the common things that happen in our brains when we have children. In the early stages, when the baby is born, the nerves will be very intense, at least for the mother. The process of giving birth and breastfeeding causes the system to be flooded with oxytocin, the 'cuddle hormone', which strengthens emotional bonds and causes us to experience more pleasure in interpersonal relationships.
"It's hard to imagine a stronger interpersonal relationship than the relationship between mother and baby. So the emotions you experience after having a child will be much more intense than you might have experienced without them," says Dean.
This applies to dads and other parents as well. The birth mother may have the most direct relationship with her baby, creating him within his own body. But basically, every human brain is programmed to respond positively to babies.
"The smell they give off, their face, their vulnerability, their size, our brains are highly responsive to all of this, forcing us to protect and bond with it. It's because of the baby. But anything with similar traits can trigger the same response. in us. This is why cute things are considered to be a response to babies."
However, this experience of intense bonding and happiness will be lost. It's not that parents don't love their children or regret their presence, but babies, who later grow up to be children, will be very demanding. And parents are of course fully responsible for them.
"Lack of sleep, dirty diapers, heavy spending, a messy home, the fact that your life is no longer yours, all of these and more can really increase stress and negative emotions. That's how your brain works." explained Dean.
But later, Dean also reminded that we too will experience the joy of an achievement, a strong love for the child, the joy of having together, and the pleasure of watching the children grow up.
Dean says, basically, the evidence shows that having kids can make you happier. But on the other hand it can also make parents, especially mothers, feel unhappy, or constantly stressed, anxious, and so on.
"Overall, it seems that having children makes your emotional experience more intense than child-free. If you are happy then the feeling of happiness will be multiplied. Likewise if you are stressed, then the stress will be very intense. Which one sounds better to you, that's entirely your choice. , " he concluded.
