Often succumb to or obey all the words of a partner? Don't let it go because this is one of the signs that you are trapped in an emotional blackmail.
Emotional blackmail is an act of manipulation carried out by someone by taking advantage of feelings to control other people. Well, in a relationship, you have a great chance of becoming a victim of emotional blackmail from your partner, you know. To avoid this, keep scrolling this article, come on!
Blackmail Emotional Stages
According to Susan Forward, a therapist, writer, and lecturer who sparked emotional blackmail, there are six stages of emotional blackmail that you can know. These stages include:
1. Demand
A partner who always makes demands does seem to care about you. However, this is one of the stages of emotional blackmail to control your life choices. For example demanding who you are friends with, demanding your appearance, and controlling your personal life too much.
2. Resistance
The second stage of emotional blackmail is resistance. This will be seen if you are reluctant to comply with his demands. Because of the rejection, your partner will fight back. For example angry or do not want to meet. This method will be carried out until you comply with the demands.
3. Pressure
Not only angry, usually couples who are doing emotional blackmail will also put pressure on them. If your partner often says "if you love me, do what I want" or "this is all for your good", then you have to be careful because this is included in the emotional blackmail stage and becomes a red flag in the relationship.
4. Threats
Threats here are not in the form of acts of violence, but prefer words. Yup, usually the perpetrator of emotional blackmail will issue the final sentence to manipulate feelings. For example, threatening to break up if you don't do what he wants.
5. Compliance
The next stage is compliance. When you have received pressure and threats, you will subconsciously obey and obey your partner's wishes even though you are not comfortable doing it yourself. You will be the center of his world when you give in and obey him. However, this only lasts a moment, you know.
6. Repetition
Lastly is repetition. Couples who do emotional blackmail will repeat the method that has been done before to make you obedient. So, this condition will continue and make you more uncomfortable.
How to Overcome Emotional Blackmail
Emotional blackmail has a great opportunity to make your relationship with your partner toxic. Feelings of affection sometimes make a person reluctant to get out of the toxic relationship. Well, if you are aware that you are stuck in an emotional blackmail but are confused about how to deal with it, here are some tips:
Stop: Being trapped in an emotional blackmail can be frustrating. Therefore, you should not rush to make decisions or immediately follow the wishes of your partner. Ask for time or pause for you to think.
Observe: Identifying your own thoughts, reactions, emotions, fears, and triggers can improve your understanding of yourself. Remember, it is you who have the right to determine your life choices.
Strategy: Analyze demands and their impact on your life. So, before saying "yes" you should consider what risks will arise later.