Without realizing it, there are some actions in-laws that can actually put your marriage on the brink. Anything?
Besides having a sweet side, marriage also comes with problems. Sometimes it is difficult to maintain a balanced relationship with a person who is in almost every way different from ours. But what you need to know, problems don't always arise because there are purely hateful motives on the part of the mother-in-law, but because of a lack of adjustment.
Remember, not all mothers-in-law are cruel, just as not all daughters-in-law are victims. So how do you minimize friction? Get to the root of the problem first so you can deal with it in a positive and appropriate way.
Here are 5 actions in-laws that sometimes cause problems in marriage
Doing it all his way (which sadly isn't your way)
You grew up in a family with different cultures, customs and routines. You feel fine. So, when you get married, the same habits, routines, and culture you carry and apply in your little family. Unfortunately, when he met Mother-in-law, a new fact emerged: your way is different from his way. Conflict is unavoidable. Especially if he feels successful in taking care of his family, in his own way. This condition can get worse if the husband chooses to remain silent.
In order not to drag on, you need to talk to your husband that you need his support. Supporting doesn't mean he stops loving and hostile to his mother, right? But at the same time, you also need to compromise by accepting some advice from your mother-in-law, especially if the ways or habits of your husband's family turn out to be of great benefit.
Feeling that her child is still hers
At one point in her husband's life, his mother was everything to him. Likewise, the mother-in-law of her child, aka your husband. What's wrong with this? Naturally, it is difficult for a mother-in-law to “share” her son with other women. Because he was used to being the only one.
If your in-laws are causing conflict in your relationship, know that it may be based on this pain – that losing her son to another woman is something she has to get used to. What can you do? Be kind and patient as best you can. Give him time to get used to the new reality.
If you can be kind during this transition instead of getting angry and offended, you'll feel that your relationship with your husband will be stronger because of it.
Makes the husband confused about choosing a party
Once again, husband and mother-in-law have bonded their entire lives and have always been there for each other. So, imagine how it feels when you come into his life, a woman whom he loves with all his soul. So when a husband is faced with having to choose between the needs of the two women he loves the most, imagine his feelings. On the one hand, he knows he has to choose, on the other hand, he doesn't want to hurt the feelings of both his mother and wife. It could be, he will refuse to choose.
When faced with this situation, both of you need to think logically. If your needs can be seconded, relent. But, if the wishes of the in-laws can be put aside, then the husband must put you first.
Makes you jealous
A man's relationship with his mother can be very solid and very intimidating. But there are things you need to know, just because your husband loves his mother so much, doesn't mean he can't love you with all his heart. So, here, the jealousy could be caused by you, not by your mother-in-law.
Try to remember, the last time you and your husband got into an argument because of a conflict with his mother, did you say, “If you loved me more, you would put me first”?
If the answer is 'yes' then it is proven that you are sabotaging the relationship with your husband. Why? Because you insist that the magnitude of a husband's love is only measured by whether he chooses you or not. Even though her husband's love has nothing to do with her decision when it comes to prioritizing her mother.
You two are just a pair of strangers
Just because you're his daughter-in-law now, doesn't mean you have to be his best friend either (you already have quite a few friends anyway), but there's no need to make him his sworn enemy either. If your mother-in-law is a difficult type to deal with, treat her like you would treat a coworker who doesn't really get along. Be polite, unemotional, and non-confrontational.