The meaning of independence can be different for each person. But in general, being independent means being able to do something without depending on other people. But, what about excessive independence or hyper independence?
According to someone with hyper independence, they can do everything without anyone's help. It's not that they're embarrassed to ask for help, they just feel that no one can match their level of completing tasks like they do.
At first glance it may sound like a good thing not to depend on other people, but on the other hand, people with excessive independence will be hampered in social relationships. Then, why someone can be excessively independent? Let's talk about hyper independence together!
What is Hyper Independence?
Reporting from Calm Sage, excessive independence or hyper independence is basically the inability to depend on others. It's good not to depend on others, but not being able to depend on anyone can hinder one's quality of life.
Excessive independence is caused by trauma. A person with hyper independence tries to do everything on their own because they want to have control over the things that happen in and around them. In the process of doing everything yourself at all costs, it can certainly leave people with hyper independence feeling overwhelmed and exhausted all the time.
Causes of Hyper Independence Due to Trauma
The only known cause of hyper independence is trauma. However, according to research quoted from Aware, trauma is not the only cause of excessive independence because other causes have not been found.
When a person experiences emotional or physical trauma, they tend to respond to that pain through excessive independence. They do it because they feel hurt that they don't want to take risks and can't trust anyone but themselves.
Hyper Independence Can Damage Relationships
Excessive independence and relationships will not go well together. All types of relationships will not work if one of them is a very independent person. There are two social settings in which excessive independence can ruin everything.
First, in a school, college, or work environment. When a person with hyper independence works on a group project together with several other people, he or she will prefer to do all the work alone. This will be a problem for others because someone with excessive independence will deny all their contributions or will exclude them outright.
Second, in the home environment. People with excessive independence will not be able to maintain good relationships with friends and family because of a lack of trust. In addition, excessive independence will also make it difficult for someone to form new relationships because they will not find people who are worthy of trust.
How to Overcome Hyper Independence
Tasks, beliefs, and demands are the three most difficult things for a hyper-independent person to deal with. For that, there are several things that must be done regarding these 3 things, such as:
Assign tasks to others even if you can do it yourself.
After the assigned task is completed, build a sense of trust in the person.
Once you start to trust the person, it will be easier to ask them for help later on.
Apart from that, the ego also plays a major role here. Once a person identifies as a very independent person, be sure to control the ego. When you have a task to complete, the ego will tell you that it can be done all on its own. At that point, ask yourself, can you really do it all yourself?
This will help to decide whether to need help or not. Once that was decided, someone who had thought they could do it on their own could easily ask for help.
So independence is good to a healthy degree but can be detrimental when a person becomes very independent. If you know someone or feel that you have signs of being overly independent, it's important to refer them to a professional to discuss this, yes!